Double Baby Mama Family Drama Causing Anxiety for Baby Daddy Over His Child's Party

 It's not a secret that, in the US, a majority of child custody cases favor mothers. What is great is that nine out of 10 custody cases settle outside of court

In the cases where there was some sort of joint custody agreement, those children fared a lot better than many of their sole custody counterparts. Not only did they have better relationships with both parents, but those kids have stronger physical, behavioral, psychological, and emotional health outcomes.

By all accounts, there's a solid case for parents to try and work thing out. 

But what happens when you add another Baby Mama to the mix? 

Baby Mama family drama becomes inevitable and causes anxiety on all sides!

Let's take a look at this Redditor's predicament and you can decide for yourself who's the real "problem child" here:

Image generated by AuthorPalessa/Leonardo AI

It’s my daughters birthday next month and we and arranging a soft play party for her, this is only going to be a small party with our closest family and friends (total 8 children and roughly 11 adults)

Okay, so that's about 19 people. Keep that number in mind as you read.

My daughters father (we will call him Nico) and I broke up before I found out I was pregnant, we were still quite young and had different things we wanted to do/ achieve and therefore decided to go our separate ways. There were no hard feelings and we parted on very good terms, 2 months after we separated I found out I was pregnant and let him know he was surprisingly happy about the pregnancy and has since been a wonderful dad and a great friend.

We both decided to co-parent and that we would work to make sure we had a healthy friendship to ensure our daughter had both parents and a healthy and positive environment to grow up in, this has worked very well for us so far.

Here's dome additional context. Nico and Baby Mama OP (OP means "original poster" for those who aren't familiar) live on the same compound. She and child live in one house, while Nico lives in another house. This is some AWESOMENESS, because we're so conditioned to expecting warring exes, etc..., so kudos to them for keeping things cool. 

But here's where things turn...

Around 2 years ago Nico had a one night stand with a woman (we will call her Emma) and she fell pregnant also, he did say to her that he didn’t want anymore children but he would support her with what ever she chose. She chose to keep the baby and he has supported her with child support and spends time with the baby regularly.

Unfortunately they have had a few issues working out a co-parenting dynamic as she was not happy that he did not want a romantic relationship with her, which she said had ruined the chance for her to have the family unit she always dreamed of.

That red flag is getting redder

As as result she refuses to let him take the baby anywhere without her being present (e.g if he wants to her to see family which is only around a 15 minute drive from her house she has to be there etc.)

Red flag turning crimson...

This has made for some very awkward and uncomfortable encounters for me as I am usually invited to such events due to my close relationship with all of nico’s family.

I would not mind her being there under normal circumstance however she constantly makes snarky comments towards me and tries to play mum to daughter right infront of me.

The cheek on this Emma girl...

Stand for Something: No Apologies

Obviously Nico would like to have both of his children at our daughters birthday party however Emma has advised she will also need to come and will be bringing her 3 nieces and 4 nephews(which neither of us have ever met)

So, 19 + 7 = not enough food or enough weed/xanax/'shrooms to stay calm when hell breaks loose. 

WHO does that? I get invited to a party, I ask if I can bring wings or dessert...not 7 relatives!

I don’t want to make anything more difficult for Nico however I want to be able to give my daughter a great birthday with out the tense atmosphere that comes with having Emma around. I also don’t feel it’s fair for me to have to be uncomfortable in my home due to all of this.

Redditors agreed that the OP was in the right AND they had a lot to say about the situation, ESPECIALLY about Nico.

This is definitely one of the cases where a court case would be warranted, especially since Emma weaponizes their child.

Facts, because...WTH?

But this part of the thread had me rolling

These guys had no idea how they hit the nail with this one, because the Baby Mama OP posted a hefty update. She said she let Nico know what was going on with Emma's messages and even shared this post with comments with him.

Here are some highlights:

• With regards to him taking her to court- this is something he has considered and kept documentation of everything happening for however he wanted to try and make it work outside of having to get lawyers involved

• Nico did have a vasectomy not long before the ONS with Emma which obviously failed (I agree extra precaution could have been made however it is also not down to me)- he has not been with her since and does not see her one on one due to how she has acted since. So when he sees his daughter there is always a third party there whether that is his parents or hers.

I would say "someone needs to get their money back" but I think a condom would be a better solution.

• Me and Emma do not usually have contact out side of events we are both invited to and I generally steer clear of her even then, she is actually blocked on all social platforms and does not have my number due to the verbal abuse shes threw at me through out her pregnancy

Emma is apparently one of those social media stalkers that sets up new accounts and sends abusive messages to the OP. The OP just keeps screenshots and moves on.

• We did have a great chat where I made my boundaries very clear with regards to wanting no further contact with Emma, I also advise I have absolutely no problem with his other daughter and she is always welcome without Emma.

But the fun part is that Nico staged an intervention, (much to Emma's chagrin)

• Nico also arranged a meeting with both his parents, Emma’s mother and myself for around lunch time. He didn’t inform Emma everyone would be attending so she would show up and also asked her to leave the baby with her one of her sisters( she did show up dressed to the nines and was visibly angry when she realised that he did not want to spend time with her alone) . Once she also realised everyone was there else that was there she masked her annoyance and greeted all of the parents warmly.

That's when Nico called Emma out and laid down the law

• When we all sat down Nico started by telling her the message she sent me last night was completely unacceptable and would not under any circumstance be happening. 
• He made her aware of his intentions to speak with a lawyer to have and official agreement for everything relating to the child in place.
• He advised he would still pay the child support he has been (double the recommended amount) but he will be having visitation with just his child and not her. 

And during this discussion, Emma's mother (who was clueless about her daughter's shenanigans) spilled the beans on why Emma was the way she was. 

You see the one night stand with Nico happened while Emma was in a 5-year relationship that turned long distance for 8 months. Her guy went to another country to take care of his sick parent. 

When Emma found out she was pregnant, she was going to try and pass the baby as her boyfriend's but both men were different ethnicities. 

Apparently, Emma realized that a red crayon and a yellow crayon can't make a green crayon.

Of course, Emma's guy ended things and that's why she was so clingy to Nico.

And most importantly, Emma agreed to go to therapy!

All's well that ends well, but what did you all think? Can you pinpoint a jerk or does everyone stink just a little?